So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
