Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
