I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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