I'm gonna have a badass scar
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
