do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
