why didn't you poke me back
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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