how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
