I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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