Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
