I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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