Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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