I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
