I want to make a zoo with you.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
