She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
