At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
