He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
