I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
His nipple licking is glorious
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