So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
