This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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