Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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