Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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