brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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