u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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