considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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