I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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