half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
