Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
