1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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