living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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