she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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