I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
