turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
