like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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