i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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