it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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