haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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