great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
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Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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