my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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