Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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