whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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