The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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