Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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