How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want a musical about memes.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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