i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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