i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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