Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
