her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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