I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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