Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize