and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
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I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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