smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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