she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We are two peas in an std pod
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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