can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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