I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
