Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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