Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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