I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
