i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
