cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You took a bar mat shot.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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