The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
