I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
