I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
