He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
