I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
