I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
