This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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