you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
