I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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